


Mistaken Identities

by Monsterunderthefedora



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Mistaken Identity, You know that Clark Kent pretending to be Bruce Wayne comic?, it's that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25661425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsterunderthefedora/pseuds/Monsterunderthefedora
Summary: Geralt has to pretend to be Jaskier for...reasons. Hijinks ensue.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 3
Kudos: 76





	Mistaken Identities

**Author's Note:**

> Based on that @penny-anna post

"Geralt, stop making that face."

"Jaskier this is by far one of the dumbest ideas you've ever had. There's no way this will work."

"Come on Geralt, it'll be easy just...let me do the talking."

"Hmmmm." Geralt scratched the braid his hair had been pulled back into. The outfit he wore was gaudy and chaffing his thighs as he walked with Jaskier. The purple colors made him stand out against the white that was the Skelliege Isles. 

"Now remember, your need to act like I would."

"There's no way I'm doing that."

"Geralt."

"Fine. I'll try." The banquet of the local jarl could be heard that outside as the doors as the two approached. One of the guards at the door spoke gruffly.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I am Julian the Viscount Di Lettonhove." Jaskier immediately spoke up. Proceeding the gesture to Geralt. "And this is my companion, you may have heard of him. The bard Jaskier?" His pride in the title was ill hidden. The guards looked over the dressed up witcher. Raising an eyebrow at the silver haired man.

"Is there a problem?" Jaskier asked.

"No...just not what I expected the poofter bard to look like." One snorted. Geralt's hand moved but Jaskier signalled him to stop. There was a pause before the men let the duo in. The banquet hall was full of raucous laughter. Barely anyone turning to acknowledge them. 

"I can't believe that worked."

"No one in Skelliege knows what I look like. It's not that hard."

"And can you remind exactly why we're doing this again?"

"Redanian secret service stuff. You're my alibi."

"Right. You go do that. I'll be here. Drinking."

"Don't you dare spill anything on that outfit. I paid a lot of money for the purple dye that went into that."

"That's on you for giving me the outfit."

"Hey I needed something loud enough that people would recognize as me. Just, don't do anything I wouldn't do." With that Jaskier disappeared into the crowd of people leaving Geralt alone with a surprisingly heavy lute on his back. Pretending to be his partner for some reason he'd yet to understand. At least it was an excuse to drink. Going to the nearest table and grabbing mug of ale and and chugging.

~~

"How the fuck is he not dead yet?"

"I have no idea, that entire barrel we've been feeding him was poisoned." The assassins watched the white haired bard in amazement. Taking in another glass of mead that was at least fifty percent poison. The amount of nightshade and hemlock he ingested would be more than enough to kill tell men. Yet there he was. Drunk as fuck and loudly singing The Fishmonger's Daughter. 

"Do you think he's immune?"

"There's literally no other explanation." The men gawked. Watching the crowd cheer on the man as he stumbled away. One of the assassin's reaching into his jacket, hand resting on his blade.

"I'll take care of this myself." The man muttered, following Jaskier out of the banquet hall into the corridor freaking outside. Far enough away from the crowd to go unnoticed. He watched the bard stumble around before leaning against the wall. Dry heaving loudly, there hired man raised his knife. Bringing it down he was shocked by a hand catching the blade. The bard turning around and despite the drunken haze, a look of pure anger was was clear.

"Da fuck....you think you're doing?"

Oh shit.


End file.
